Monday, December 1, 2008

A ramble turning into my baby step revelations.

Don't really know what to say today. Just felt the need to blog so I guess I'll just ramble. I'm usually pretty good at thatjand who know where it might lead. I've had a pretty dull day. Houseworky stuff mainly. Did my house blessing. Second week in a row. Yeah me. Also did my next day on the fly lady's 31 babysteps. I'm up to day 10 but I think I've been doing it for about 15 days. I miss days a bit. But at least I'm not quitting. I did a mini purge of stuff in my bedroom. Put some old jewellery, a couple of small teddies and some bits and pieces in a bag to get rid of. I'm trying to slowly let go of those things I don't love or use any more. It's hard because I think I'm a closet horder. It's getting easier though. Baby steps. Actually baby steps is a big things that God has been teaching me for the past year. I have a very bad habits of rushing into things, taking on too much too fast and expecting to be able to do it all now. This has only ever led me to stress and depression. It's so hard to be a perfectionist. Over time I have found myself to be more and more inclined to get overwelmed easily. I think this I why I've found it so hard to accept God's guidance in my life. It seemed as if what he wanted my to do was way out of my reach. There was no way I could see myself living up to the standard I thought God expected of me. I realise now that it's my own expectations that I feared I couldn't reach. I thought God was asking too much of me and what if I failed God. I couldn't imagine anything worse. But then God told me two things very clearly. No 1 was he doesn't need me to do anything he wanted me to though. And no 2 was that it was okay to take baby steps...actually I need to take baby steps. That's what God want me to do. Just keep heading down to path he's laid out for me and don't worry about what's around the corner. Just keep taking those steps.
Well time for me to go. I want to ring my brother in hospital and see how he is going. Ta Ta


Pauline said...

ohhh! I am so excited that you found my blog! that you are from Queensland and that you are thirty something!!!!! I can't wait to have a chance to check out your blog in detail!!!!
I look forward to "meeting" you "O)

snazzykc said...

Be gentle with yourself. Change is hard and baby steps are a perfect way to deal with it. I count any day that I get something done on my mental "to do" list a good day!