Thursday, February 26, 2009

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful

  1. That my Hubby is a fabulous chef
  2. That someone anonymously did a kind deed for me on Saturday night
  3. For my strengthening friendship with Belinda (a lady from church)
  4. That God is teaching me to let go of the unforgiveness in my heart I have for myself
  5. That I have been much more organised this week
  6. For the support I received from the head of the Children's Ministry regarding a difficult situation with a child
  7. For the wonderful people who are part of my Life Group
  8. For DS's continuing interest in learning at school
  9. That we sorted out some issues that DD was having at school. She actually thought she wasn't learning enough
  10. For chocolate....yum

Luv and Hugs
God Bless


Sunday, February 22, 2009

Journal Prompt - self acceptance

Let's Write About....Spiritual things...What are the main lessons God is teaching you this week?Write about your church. Write about your Devotional times this week. Write about an inspirational book you are reading in your Quiet Time. Catch up on some time with God this afternoon or evening :-)

I think I'm going to focus on what lesoons God is teaching at the moment. He really gave me a huge lesson last night. Basically he's telling me I need to learn to accept myself and stop thinking so little of myself. I guess I hadn't realised just how little I thought of myself. Last night I went to a lingerie party. You know...those party plan things. It was reasonably expensive lingerie and I wasn't sure if I could afford to get anything. Hmmm...I'm finding this hard to explain. There's more than one issue arising here. Well for one thing I sort of don't like parts of my body. Okay I don't like my breasts. They are large and one is quite larger than the other.I'm a little overweight but not by much. Anyway this causing lots of problems finding good bras and I don't really like being measured for them or anything. Well the demonstrator lady was so nice and really put me at ease after a while. Oh and I found a bra that actually works for me...yeah! She also told me not to feel so bad about myself. It was a big step even for me to get this far.
Okay here's the biggy. Alison, my friend who hosted the party, comes in and tells me that someone (she won't say who) has given me money to buy something and Alison gave me one of her half price vouchers to use as well. This meant that I was able to get a bra that fits me well for free. It was so amazing. I really couldn't understand how someone could do this for me. I really dwelt on this all the way home and by the time I went to bed I was in tears. Unfortunately they weren't tears of joy. I was so distraught. I felt horrible. I felt so unworthy of this gift. I wanted to run away and hide. All I could think of was if only this person knew the real me...the horrible me...I felt like a fraud...a cheat. I just wept and wept. Then I cried out to God. I begged for understanding. I wanted Him to speak to hold me. I was so confused. Then I felt Him whispering to me. I don't really know what He said but I know a peace came over me. Then I had a realisation. I am really hard on myself. I find it so hard to forgive myself when I do something wrong. I expect perfection and anything else is a failure. I truly believe I am unlovable. That's why I was so incomprehensible to me that someone would show kindness towards me. God is teaching me to let go of that and I'm slowly learning to love myself more.
Luv and hugs
God Bless

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Journal Prompt-Who is Jo

What makes you?
This prompt makes me think about the things that make me me. Just who am I, why am I me. So many things go into just who I am. Both good and bad. Sometimes I wish I could just erase all the bad stuff that has happened to me in my life or that I could go back and start again. But then who would I be. I wouldn't be me would I? Everthing that has ever happened in my life has molded me. Sure it's also caused me alot of pain but I need to learn to use both good and bad experiences to make myself a better person. I still struggle with that a times. I cry out to God "Why...why did you let that happen." I feel as if I'm not strong enough to move forward but I have to trust God will be my strength. When it comes down to it I am me because God made me, choose me to be his child and he loves me. Nothing can change that...not my doubts...not my fears and definately not my rantings. Who am I?
I am a beloved child of God
Luv and Hugs
God Bless

Journaling Prompt-What I've been watching

Let's Write About...have you seen any good movies lately?
How about TV shows you love to watch...
I've actually watched a few movies lately. DH and I watched a Jackie Chan movie on Valentine's Day. I think it was called Forbidden Kingdom or something like that. Initially I was disappointed that we couldn't agree on anything more romantic but I'm glad we got it. It was a really good movie. I love kid's movies too. We watched Kungfu Panda and Wall E a couple of weeks ago and I absolutely loved them. Especially Wall E. I'm thinking about buying it for the kids eventually. I love the teachings in it. The next movie I want to watch is The Colour of Magic. It's based of the Terry Pratchet book by the same name. I used to be a huge Terry Pratchet fan. Favourite TV shows at the moment include NCIS, Law and Order, Lie to Me, Better Homes and Gardens, Wipe Out and Myth Busters.
Luv and Hugs
God Bless

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Journaling Prompt - Morning Routine

Tell me about your morning routine. How did you come about to adopt it.
I'm trying to do the flylady thing. Yes I'm a flybaby or a maggot as my DH says. He thinks he's soooo funny. I'm been fluttering off and on for about a couple of years. This is the routine I'm meant to stick to
  • get up at 5am
  • let dogs downstairs for wee
  • turn hot water system on ( I only turn it on a few hours a day)
  • put a load of washing on
  • move Guinea Pig cage
  • feed pet rats
  • shower
  • time with God
  • Breakfast and meds
  • brush teeth
  • make lunches for kids and DH
  • make bed
  • swish and swipe bathroom
  • wash up
  • put clothes on line
  • walk dogs as I walk kids to school

I'm not sticking to my routine too well at the moment. I need to become more disciplined. I think it's a pretty good routine. I'd like to put an early morning walk in there too.

Luv and Hugs

God Bless


Journaling Prompt - speaking my mind

If I had the courage to speak my mind, I would say....
Ohhhh! That's a prickly one. I have the habit of speaking my mind and often without thinking first. Not a good thing really. I'm a person with very strong opinions about certain things. I'm a bit worried that I may offend some by what I am about to type. But please remember these are only my opinions.Opinion 1.I have a real issue with IVF. It's something I don't believe in. My husband disgusted this before we had children and decided that if we weren't able to conceive naturally we would adopt. My opinion is if you can't conceive naturally then there's a reason. Possible a genetic reason for it. I would be concerned that by using IVF there would be a higher risk of having babies with genetic problems. Also, there are just so many babies and children that desperately need parents to love them. Why not give a needy child a home instead.Opinion 2.People who smoke when they are pregnant or even around children really get my goat. I want to grab them and shake them. It makes me so mad. They seem so selfish to me.Opinion 3.Well this one is actually regarding my denomination' s view on drinking alcohol. They don't like it at all. I grew up pretty typically. I went through a stage of partying. I drank too much on occassions. Now this is definately not something I advocate at all. But on the other hand I don't see anything wrong with the occassion drink. I haven't drank alcohol in a quite a while. But I don't consider myself a teetotaller. I definately don't like how some of these alcopops are marketed at the young. That is so wrong. But Jesus drank wine so why tell people that all drinking is wrong.I think I'll stop there. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. As I said before I have very strong opinions. And don't don't even get me started on some of the things I'd like to say to certain members of my family. Sometimes it's better to keep the peace.
Luv and Hugs
God Bless

Journaling Prompt - Suprise Sibling

How would you react if you found out that you had a sibling you did not know about? Would you want to meet them? How would it change your relationship with your parents? How would it change the way you thought of yourself?
I couldn't really say how I'd react in that situation. Horrified I guess. Disappointed too. I would want to meet them. Family is family after all. As for how the relationship with my parents I guess it would depend on how this child came to be and whether it was a half or full sibling. I would feel I'd lost a certain amount of trust in my parents. Especially my Mum because we are close. To be brutally honest I wouldn't be completely surprised at my Dad. I know that sounds awful and I don't want to go into why I wouldn't be surprised. I don't think it'd change a lot about how I think about myself. I already have pretty low self esteem but I don't think it's that fragile. My Mum loves me and that's that. Nothing would change that.
Luv and Hugs
God Bless

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Good Morning, Good Evening and Good Night

Good Morning, Good Evening and Good Night. Well that's how it feels when I'm online. Imagine trying to explain the internet to someone from the early 1900's. It'd blow their mind. It blows my mind in many ways. I still find it amazing that I can talk to people all around the world just by typing on my keypad. And it just seems totally crazy that I can talk to people who are still in yesterday when it's today here. Freeky really. The world has got so small. In some ways it's like the tower of Babel again. Language is no longer a barrier to communication and distance is nothing at all. But is it a good thing. Well I know the internet is great in so many ways. It brings people closer. I have made many friend online. I would not have met these people without the internet. But....there are negatives as well. I think it can make us much more impersonal. People become words on a screen. You can't hug a computer. Hmmmm...well you could but it would hug you back. Children aren't learning interpersonal skills. I think it also attacks our moral values. Honesty as an example. It is so easy to lie online. We can be whoever we want to be. The only limit is our imagination. While this can be fun I know for myself it has affected my ability to trust. It takes a while to fully relax when I am chatting online. This is something I don't like. I want to know that the person I'm talking to is for real. I guess I could go on but I won't. Simply put...the internet is both good and bad like most things in life. It all depends on how you look at it and use it. Personally I love it.