Sunday 17th May 2009
Can't believe I was awake at 6am. I hardly slept last night. I set my alarm to wake me at midnight to give Xan her meds but I was so worried that it wouldn't go off or I'd sleep through it that I couldn't sleep. It wasn't easy getting Xan to take her tablet either. She wouldn't wake up. Probably because of the medication she was given at the hospital. I ended up lifting her up a bit, poking the tablet into her mouth, getting some water in too and rubbing her neck. Guess my time as a vet nurse was quite useful. I finally got to sleep some time after 1am. Yet I still woke up at 6. How annoying.
Jason got a lift into church earlier because he was worshop leading today. I didn't expect to get there for Zone and had planned on getting there by 10.30 for the 2nd service. Xan and Seb had other ideas. Neither of them wanted to miss Zone. Xan was still quite dizzy form the meds but she managed okay.
The sermon today hit hme alot. I realised that I really need to work on my relationship with God more. My relationships with other believers have definately improved. I did realise that it would be a good idea to have an accountability partner. I'm thinking of asking Belinda if she is interested. Prayer is really hard for me. I read the book "The Shack" and I was taken aback by this one woman's habit of caming God Papa. My first thought was that I could never do that. My second thought was that I wish I could. I struggle with even calling Him Father. It all goes back to my relationship with my earthy Dad. I know that. And I know that God is the perfect Father who won't let me down but....but....it's still so hard. My greatest wish is to have an intimate relationship with my Papa God.
Other happening of today. Snoozed this afternoon. The Humphries came around for dinner.